Is there any reason to repetitively think of what you don’t want? I can imagine that, as the beginning of the process of change, we must always admit we no longer want some aspect of our life. The only alternative I know is to focus so clearly on what we do want that we get it—as old contradictory aspects fall away. Almost certainly that is how change occurs.
Not everyone—maybe not most people—has that experience. There is another process for many of us: we think some version of “I really don’t want __________”, then we think it again, then again, then again for one month, then one year, then ten years.
What happened to those of us who’ve been caught in that cycle of repeat repeat repeat? No one taught us how to create change, so we repeat step one over and over? I’ve been in that cycle and I do remember not knowing how to go from what I didn’t want to anything else.
If I could go back and advise myself, I would likely say “Stop focusing on the present conditions that you don’t like. If you catch yourself repeatedly focusing on what you don’t want, do and think something else. Anything else. If you can, focus on the pleasure of having what you do want, or on times when that has been true. If you can’t, focus on anything except what you don’t want. Focusing on what you don’t want hasn’t worked so far, it probably won’t work the next time either.”
If you are telling old stories about what doesn’t work, stop. You know the story—you don’t need to hear it again. Don’t ever tell that story again, unless you want to keep getting what doesn’t work. Try telling the stories about what HAS worked. Try telling the story about how eager you are for this new experience you want! Talk of being curious about what it’s going to be like to ____________. I can’t imagine an inventor in the process of creation repeatedly chanting, “There is no way I can do this.”
I assume we are all seeking SERENE pleasure—in sex, love, relationships, accomplishments, prosperity. I’ve learned that all things are more easily accomplished in community—big community , small community, not in isolation. “I” don’t want ________. “WE” do all want so many common things. Maybe that’s important to remember: that so many things, so many changes are accomplished in community. In community, we can at least ask for help and guidance. In isolation we are just that: alone.
I love the laser focus that is Prayer. I appreciate how powerful it is when it is unconscious and hopeless, and I respect and am excited by the power of focused, conscious, intentional prayer.
Here is a prayer for change:
Fill my heart with courage, my mind with commitment, my spirit with willingness, point my feet forward, and let’s bring on this new life! Thank you!
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